[So stressed]
[2003-03-12] @ [2:43 p.m.]
As you can see, I'm making a list of all the poetry that I have written in here, as well as some poems that I haven't. I just wanted to have a little more fun with this thing. Anyways...Not much happening here. On Sunday, the youth band (aka FUSION) got to play for the church service. It was really great. I had lots of fun doing it, and I think it sounded great!
I'm getting in so much trouble at work. They say I'm not doing my work, and I am! I mean, because I was sick for a few days, and then because of the car accident, I have a lot of catching up to do. But they (my supervisor) thinks I'm being lazy and not doing anything. And she says she doesn't want to fire me. Well it looks like it to me! I feel so stressed. And they think I might be going through things at home. No...it's at work! There are so many calls, and so many concerns from the clients about their accts. *sigh* My boss asked me if my heart was not with the job anymore and if i wanted to do something else in the company. Now that I think about it, I don't know if I can do this anymore. I've been working in this dept. for a year now, and I think the stress has finally caught up to me. And then she said,"We care about you, Sara. We don't want to lose you..." wow. I never thought about that. I know that other companies would fire me on the spot because of all the back log of work. (But there would be a lot more people working. There's not many people working in this dept...only 2 and my supervisor) But they really are concerned about me. I'm concerned about me too! I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I'm so worried about college and possibly moving there. It's too much!!
You know, I give my problems to God, but somehow they seem to come back. I give them up, but when I look in my hands I see that they are still there. I know I can't handle my life anymore, so why do I hold on? Why can't I just let go? Do I trust Him? Well, considering that He saved me from death (literally), then why shouldn't I trust Him? Maybe it's because I haven't been focused on Him as much as I was before. Hmmm...well, I better fix that then! Because I know that there is NO WAY that I can do this on my own...
~Silverluna
~ silverluna