[The picnic....]
[2002-10-28] @ [3:35 p.m.]
We had a church picnic yesterday. It was alot of fun. They had soccer and softball and vollyball and lots of food. What really bugged me that day is that this same time last year I met Ricardo.*sigh*...I remember the first time I found out about him. My parents were helping a family out with their finances. One day my mother told me about their oldest son. Soon everyone in my family got to meet him except me. I heard so many good things about him and i was really excited to meet him at church. I even got to speak to him on the phone and invited him to the church many times, but he never came. Then one day, he did come. It was the day of the church's first picnic. When I first saw him, I fell in love. Practically EVERY girl in church liked him. But I thought maybe he could be the one for me. He is BEAUTIFUL! So he went to the picnic and we played soccer and football together. He started playing soccer with us too, and he is GREAT! And as I got to know him more, I started to like him a lot more.
Then I found out he had a 15 year old girlfriend (This was when we were both 18 or so) I got really jealous and really mad at him. "Why was he dating a 15 year old!?! He can have me!" Then after a while, he stopped coming to the games, then he stopped going to church. I never saw him again. I couldn't even call him. Then I found out he got in big trouble. I don't really know the details, but it was bad.
So yesterday, I was reminded of him. After the picnic, we went to his house. He didnt go to the picnic, and he wasn't at home. I heard he hasn't been home in 2 weeks now. Possibly with his g/f in Brandon. I heard he got a job as a pizza delivery guy in Brandon too. Now he's going to Southeastern Bible College because his dad works there now. I got to sit in his room and look at some of his pictures.
Then I realized that I don't need him in my life anymore. Although he is the most beautifullest guy I have ever met, I saw that his life was all messed up, and if I kept holding on to the memories of him, my life would be a mess because of the fact that I couldn't have him. He just did not like me the way I liked him. It really hurt me when I realized this. It still hurts now. It has been a year since I met him, and I don't really know him anymore. I hope I get to meet up with him one day and maybe talk to him about my feelings, but it might take a while for me to open up. So I wrote a poem about it. I'm going to write it in another entry because I already wrote way too much in here!
~SilverLuna
~ silverluna