[Tired thoughts]
[2012-12-17] @ [3:49 p.m.]
I've thought about this one idea all weekend. There are relationships that are more male-dominated, and recently I've found more relationships that are women-dominated. I feel like I am in the latter.I'd rather have an equal partner that gives as much as I give out. I'm not saying that he is a lazy person. He is super nice. Maybe I am the lazy one in responding to his advances.
I just don't know. I don't know why I can't commit to things. Maybe, in the back of my mind, I feel that the best person I can be with is still out there. But why can't I just settle? Why do I have to hurt someone in the end? I tried to warn him. In the beginning of this relationship I talked to him as if what we were doing would never work out. I think I'm trying to suppress those feelings now. I still don't think it will work out.
I have been tired all weekend. My bones have been aching. I drank some wine at lunch today. It's making me more sleepy. I wanted to feel more.
The semester is over, and there are almost no students on campus. I have an hour of work left to go. I'm ready for this week to be over...
~ silverluna