[Over-evaluation]
[2012-10-31] @ [4:52 p.m.]
Whoops. Guess a week passed me by. Nothing exciting to talk about though. And I don't want to make anything up, to make my life sound more exciting. I don't know what I am doing.Am I a lazy person? I try not to be. But I don't feel the need to plan ahead. So I jump at the first thing that comes at me, for example the online guy (Guess I have too face the fact that I will talk about him. He's my "distraction"). I might have looked around and went on dates with a few other guys on there, but there was really not a good variety to choose from. And what if the guys at work were interested? Eh, I don't really open the option of dating someone I work with. But I can dream, can't I? I can't.
"Online guy and I have known each other/have been going "out" for 7 months now. Feels like a long time already. I know which direction he wants to go. Why don't I want to do the same? Why do I have to make these situations a dilemma? Because the day will come when he will ask a question, and right now I don't know what I would say. My family doesn't know him (well, my parents don't know him). He started coming to church with me. I told him he shouldn't show interest in what I do if the motive is just to see me. If he is going to church, he needs to be going for himself only. I connected him with other men. I'm trying to do the right things. I've also done a lot of wrong things through this process, and I know it will take some time to get out of this relationship if I need to. I just don't know what to do. 7 months is almost a year. I may be over-evaluating things. But shouldn't I?
(This post was to state how society has warped the views of relationships...but I am not blaming things on society. I know what is right and wrong. But why do I tend to lean to the wrong things instead of the righteous, when I know the benefits will come from the latter?)
~ silverluna