[Wretchedness...]
[2009-02-03] @ [11:55 p.m.]
Music: Broken - Seether and Amy Lee
I've been thinking about many things these past few days, so many that it's been difficult to write them all down.
I've been trying to keep myself busy with school. Even last week I was stressed out about everything. I feel better about my classes and work schedules now. It's just that I've been trying to keep my mind off of other things, off of anything to do with relationships. It makes it easier that way. I don't want to be preoccupied with making someone happy when I have everything else to take care of. But I love to be preoccupied with someone else...
Another thing about relationship. I REALLY don't want a relationship, but being alone like this is making me want to have one.
I just need to sift through these emotions. I don't want to do something that I'll regret, by being with someone that I don't want to be with.
For some reason it's hard for me to do what I say, like that verse...
Romans 7:15-25
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do�this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God�through Jesus Christ our Lord!
This is exactly what I'm saying inside...who will rescue me...
~ silverluna