[Trust factor]
[2007-03-20] @ [4:00 p.m.]
I've been going through a test these past couple of weeks. A test of trust. I've realized that many of the problems in my life are a result of the negative remarks that come from my mouth. It may not have been the only thing that has brought these results, but even some doubt has allowed evil in the situation. Just like Jesus said: "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done." Matthew 21:21. I didn't realize how many times He reminds us not to doubt in the Bible. But now I know that the words I say are very important. Even in these weeks I have seen a change, because I know that God is the only person that can make the impossible possible.So, on Friday Shawn and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary. I took the day off of work, and we planned to spend the day in Orlando. We were about to take Shawn�s car, but we all knew that his car might not make it there. My parents (almost) gladly let me use their car. It was pretty close. We had tickets to go to Universal Studios, but we didn�t realize until later that they expired in the beginning of March. So we hung out at downtown Disney for a few hours. Later that afternoon we played putt-putt golf, and then we went to see Medieval Times. It was enjoyable. The food was good, but the acting could have been better from some people. They did have had nice fake sword-fights. We spent a lot of money that night. We could have used spent it on a big theme park, or we could even have saved it for the wedding. But I�m learning to give everything to God and let him control what�s going on. I still have some money. He�ll provide for everything.
You know, why can�t I have it my way? All I want is for my parents to be fine with Shawn and me marrying on the 26th of May. I want to sit down with them and have a nice positive talk about all this, and in the end they would be okay. But every time we would try to sit and talk, they�d attack. Now that we know what we know, we are giving everything to God. But it�s so hard to believe when I know how they react. I know what they will say when we try to talk to them yet again. But through Shawn, God is helping me. When I give up the thing he wants to control, he gives me the confidence to keep going in the direction he wants. He knows the best way though, doesn�t he?
Things are going to be just fine. My parents will be happy with our marriage. My mom will be there with me when I�m preparing everything for the wedding, when I�m buying my dress. My aunt and uncle will be able to trust God and trust Shawn that he will do everything he can to provide. My church family will stop saying comments and will just be happy for us. Everyone will be happy.
It�s funny how I answer my own questions sometimes. Maybe it�s not me that�s answering...
~ silverluna