[Anger issues]
[2006-01-05] @ [8:38 a.m.]
Music:Five For Fighting-SupermanI'm feeling better.
I just read the last few sentences in my last entry, and they surprised me.I don't think I've ever been as angry as I was those last couple of days. I didn't like what I was feeling.
I need to work on my anger. I realized things all around me have made me angry; my job, my friends, my family, myself. I have been trying to please everyone that I forgot about me, I forgot about God. I know I still have a relationship with him, I just haven't spent much time with Him. And I shouldn't just talk to Him about my problems. He already knows them. I just need to live with Jesus. A missionary spoke in our youth group last night, and she was talking about community. No matter where we go, there will always be a type of community around us. And I thought about my parents. What a crappy community I have made. I don't talk to them at all. I have so many negative things against them that I'm afraid of them now. But they should be my team mates, my friends. It's funny to write that now considering that they are parents. I never understood why so many of the youth loved my parents so much. THey would tell me my parents are awesome, and I would laugh. You don't know them. In reality I don't know them.
Anyways, that is my situation for the moment. I need to start a new relationship with my parents. Shawn in still in the picture. He said he will do everything he can. I'm trusting him to keep his word. I don't want to think about if none of this works out.
This is the biggest faith test I have ever had. I know I need to pass this.
~Silverluna
~ silverluna